surgery Post Poned

well here I was all ready to go in for the heart surgery tomorrow morning and the docs office called to postpone, It is now scheduled for September 15. I guess that will give me time to get some better tires on the front of the truck. But will set me back about a month on any firewood cutting. Hopefully the weather will not suddenly turn off cold,

Coffee and Doughnuts, the rhythms of life

Yesterday i went with my wife to Terre Haute so that she could have an MRI done on her back. She has degenerative disks and chronic back pain, and as it had been years since her last MRI, the Doc wanted a new one to see how her condition may have progressed. While sitting in the lobby waiting for them to do the procedure, I read my autographed copy of  "Modern Magick" by my friend Donald Michael Craig. It just happened that the TV show "Doctors" was blaring in the background, and they were doing something on "girl parts" I vaguely remember several references to "vagina" but my book was more interesting to me, so I just let it drone in the background. I started feeling drowsy and could smell the coffee at the courtesy table was still fresh so I stretched, laid the book aside and thought I would help myself to a cup of the bitter brew. While sauntering over, I noticed that the "Doctors" had went off and "Ellen" had come on, mainly because I had to walk past the big screen TV on my way to grab that cupa joe. They had a large tray of pastries handy there too. I had not had a one in a long time, so I helped myself to a square shaped offering that was covered with milk chocolate icing. I was pleasantly surprised to find they were also fresh, since I had expected them to be stale so late in the afternoon. Grabbing the booty from my raid on the courtesy station, I sauntered back to my seat, hot cup in one hand, napkin-wrapped sweet in the other, and levered myself into the no-so comfy chair, took a sip of the hot bitter coffee, followed by a bite  of the pasty, and contemplated the floor patterns while Ellen droned in the background, something about babies.. I chuckled recalling some of the jabber on the previous show about penises and Vaginas and birth canals, followed by a thing on babies. I took another bite and washed that down with another sip of coffee and again contemplated the intricate patter in the weave of the carpet. Sometimes you can see messages in random patterns, and sometimes just cool pictures that seem to change each time you look at them.

Now as is the norm when you strive daily to strengthen your connection to Spirit, sometimes you will see a revelation in the most innocent act, that gets you to contemplating something else. I took another bite, while staring at the carpet and reviewing the material I had just read in my mind. This bite tasted different. There was some sort of pale yellowish oooze in the middle of my pastry. Well it didn't taste too bad and it looked better than some stuff I had coughed up, albeit not by a lot. I washed that down with another sip of black coffee and absently tore off another bite. Then it clicked, vaginas + penises + birth canal = babies = life. Which is both sweet and bitter at times like the pasty and black coffee I held in my hands. Well I had already known that but really had not thought about it in a very long time. Like the yellowish stuff inside the pastry, sometimes the sweetest things at first look rather unappealing, but turn out to be the sweetest part of life. And sometimes like the pastry itself, often what looks absolutely delicious on the surface harbors hidden secrets that to some may appear quite distasteful. The sweet can sometimes become overwhelming, so after a sip of the bitter, to wash it down, the contrast of the next bite tastes so much better. the alternating sweet and bitter bites mimic the cycles of life. We are here to experience, learn and to grow.  If life is too easy we become complacent, too filled with the sweet to really appreciate what we have. Then the bitter events of life shake us out of our complacency, and help us to appreciate the sweet that much better.

Like the pasty and coffee I held in my hands, we hold our lives in our hands. We make choices, some lead to sweet reward, some to bitter experiences. But as we take our bites and sips we learn, we grow, and despite ourselves we become better than we were before. Life is indeed bittersweet. Enjoy the sweet, endure the bitter with hope and understand that both extremes are necessary parts of the process of life. The last bite of pastry was followed by a few more swigs of the cooling coffee. My wife had returned, and another fact of life had hit.. there are two things you just seem to rent, coffee and beer.

Health Update

I had the heart Catherdization done and the Doc found that I have 2 blockages. One is 90% the other 100%. I go in on September 1rst for the Angioplasti. where one of the blockages will be opened up and a stint put in. He will try to do the 100% block first. If he cannot get it to open up then he will do the 90% block. If he can get it to open up he will have me come back in 2 weeks to do the 90% block. If he cannot get the 100% block open then I will have to be on some type of medication for it all of the time

On the plus side I do not have pneumonia and the infection and congestion is clearing up in my lungs.

Right now I cannot strain in any way, nor am I allowed to lift anything weighing over 10 pounds.. so pretty much lay around and do nuthin much.

SALOOOWW Blogging

I generally do not add anything here unless I feel it is something worth your valuable time to read. So my additions are generally not added on a weekly let alone daily basis. But of late I have been even slower about adding things, due to some health issues that have been plaguing me the past several months. Among them are medication side effects from various attempts of using one BP control medication after another until eventually we hit on something that both worked and did not make me very sick from the side effects. Another has been a persistent lung infection that has yet to clear up, but I am on round two of antibiotics and Prednisone for that, and I dearly hate taking prednesone. I have also been having a lot of chest pain and generally not felt well, and have had a great reduction in strength and stamina. After a few weeks of tests, it was discovered that I have a heart blockage in the upper part and need to go in this Wed. Aug the 17th after I see the lung specialist, to have a heart cathiderzation, (sp?)  Hopefully after that plus getting the lung infection cleared up I will be strong enough to cut firewood this fall. If not I really do not know what we shall do. Freeze I guess. We certaintly cannoy afford to buy wood nor can we hire someone to cut it  for us.
 But I as always shall place my faith in the powers that be that things will work out. They always do when you place your faith in the deities. Often not the way we would like, but well enough that you can get by.

As I write this, I have experienced yet another chest pain. I have them several times a day now. They are most annoying. But at least the pinched nerve in my lower back has eased up so I can sit down without pain, and even bend down to pet my dog and play frisbie with him. It really sucks being sick especially when the illness runs on for weeks into months into years. Life is pain and life is joy, and we should never take it for granted. Each day I discover and marvel upon the wonders I see around me and shake my head at the folly of human kind. The pettiness and greed and sophomoric behavior many seem to display. And then I am amazed yet again by the caring rush of strangers to help out someone they have never even met in the time of dire need. We are indeed a complex and complicated species.

Blessings one and all!

Connections and Power

Annwn and I stepped outside just before sunrise on a already hot and steamy morning. We felt it at the same time, a presence. Turning to look in the direction Annwn was also looking, I felt something trying to probe my mind. My barriers went up immediately and pushed the questing tendrils aside. Annwn growled low and dropped to s crouch, the hair sticking up upon his back. I saw it then. A shadow against the ancient lightening blasted Maple tree. I summoned my spiritual power and felt the energy rise surge within me. The shadow moved away from the tree, and began spinning. It looked like a shadowy whirlwind flecked with sparks. A Watcher. Annwn began stalking the whirling form keeping himself between me and the threat as he closed the gap between him and his prey. The Watcher suddenly seemed confused. About then my power peaked and I let it fly outward in a massive energy pulse toward the spinning shadow. Annwn sprang. but the spiritual power I had summoned had already impacted. The whirlwind was dashed backward then it flew apart and dissipated. Annwn slowed his charge as his prey vanished before him. He sniffed the tree where the Watcher had tried to hide, growled low and hiked his leg. He growled his frustration and anger yet again and returned to my side.

No one, no matter how pious or spiritual or practiced you are, can be an inexhaustible reservoir of energy. We all need to have a constant connection to and become a conduit of the source of all. We humans have many names for God-dess in all of His//Her various aspects and personages. Each name, face and facet is a small part of the Divine All, but it can tap into that inexhaustible source of Spiritual energy and channel that power through those who are well connected to the Divine and serve as a conduit of spiritual energy. And this is why even though you may know the rituals by heart and preform them by rote, they will have very little effect if you are spiritually disconnected. Yes you may have some positive results in say a spiritual or energy healing attempt, but if you feel tired, or drained afterward it is because you are not spiritually connected. Similarity if you constantly involve yourself in ritual always using more and more energy, you will also loose the spiritual connection because of the growth of the ego and personal greed and lust for power. It may sound like an oxymoron but the fact is that you only gain power by not pursuing it. Those that pursue power never discover the real power that IS and which comes from the Source of all.

Meditation, prayer, intentionally seeking and living a spiritual life keeps one connected. It is a great deal of work, and a path of constant self improvement and growth. You spend a great deal of time in introspection, candidly seeking and discovering your faults through interaction with others. You will meet many who are challenging to you in some way. They may serve the purpose of and adversary, constantly trying to make you angry, challenging your patience, and thwarting your every move. They are in your life as a means to help you become better than you are. And you must recognize this fact. Troubling times and hardships are means through which your impurities are hammered away and your spiritual strength, through the spiritual connection will increase. So the next time the Universe seems to take a Dump on you, and no matter how hard you try to get your head above water and the weight keeps dragging you down. Thank your God-dess for the opportunity to learn and to grow, and request guidance if you feel lost and it seems that you  have no where to turn. This often is the way that Spirit works to help you to re-establish your spiritual connection. It is a painful process.

We hail and acknowledge the Spiritual center, that source of all twice each day, at both sunrise and sunset. Our lives here at the ole Covenstead are rich in prayer and the natural wonders we see all around us. Yet we are also very much connected to everyday life. For we recognize that we are spiritual beings here to experience a physical existence and because of this, we need to maintain our spiritual connections. And through that connection one will discover the source of infinite power.