I am a Stag of Seven Tines

Its an old poem and also a bit of a puzzle. Some say it is a calender, some say it is the cycle of reincarnation and rebirth. I think it is something more, something which is both so simply obvious that it is overlooked and so profound as to be a great truth that hardly anyone ever considers in this day and age.. yet our ancestors took it for granted that everyone was aware of this most basic fact.

"I am a stag of seven tines,
I am a flood across the plain,
I am a wind on a deep lake,
I am a tear the Sun lets fall,
I am a hawk above a cliff,
I am a thorn beneath the nail,
I am a wonder among flowers,
I am a wizard: Who but I sets the cool head aflame with smoke?

I am a spear that roars for blood,
I am a salmon in a pool,
I am a lure from paradise,
I am a hill where poets walk,
I am a boar, ruthless and red,
I am a breaker threatening doom,
I am a tide that drags to death,
I am an infant: Who but I peeps from the unhewn dolmen arch?

I am the womb of every holt,
I am the blaze on every hill,
I am the queen of every hive,
I am the shield of every head,
I am the tomb of every hope.

Thinking about this old prose in modern day terms makes the puzzle nearly impossible to decipher. So lets take a journey back through time and first try to grasp the concepts of the universe as our ancient ancestors understood them.

Much of the ancient knowledge is resurfacing and our focus has been turning from the patriarchal concept that the Earth is something to be conquered, subjugated and exploited to the beginning of the comprehension or I should say "re-comprehension" that the earth is a living breathing organism. Our ancestors knew that everything was connected, everything was related, that the spark of divine fire existed in everything that is. Everything that is was or shall be contains within it a part of the creator of all things simply because when something is created the one who creates it puts a part of him/herself into it. It is through that spark of divinity which exists in everything we see and feel and experience that causes us to be a part of the whole. Every part, every creature and thing are all parts of the whole, similar to the cells and molecules of the body. Our ancestors, and these days you hear it mainly from the Native Americans knew that the rocks were both the bones of the earth and our brothers and sisters. The trees and grass and other vegetation that covers the earth were the hair/fur/garments of the earth, for they clothed the earth mother and they were also our siblings. The streams and rivers were the flowing veins and blood of the earth, the oceans were the heart of the earth circulating the living waters, the blood of the earth to every part, carried by the winds. They knew and understood that each animal, plant and stone were all of importance because they were and are all a part of the whole system. When one was gone, destroyed and removed from existence, the whole system suffered a great hurt. With enough hurts the whole system begins to suffer and as the hurts grow in number and frequency  the suffering of the greater organism of which we are but a small part suffers and that the greater the wounding or damage done the longer it will take for complete healing and recovery. They also knew that as in everything there comes a point where the damage gets so great that the organism sickens and dies. Furthermore they understood that everything comes and goes in cycles, the great cycle of life. Birth, growth, decline and death to transformation and life anew. What we consume becomes a part of us and upon death we become a part of something else which continues the whole cycle along.

With all of this in mind, you should now be able to solve the mystery.

Yellow Light

I received this as a joke in the email today though I do not know who composed it.

Subject: The Yellow Light .............

 

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing,

stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red

light by accelerating through the intersection.

 

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in

frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,

dropping her cell phone and makeup.

 

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked

up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered

her to exit her car with her hands up.

 

He took her to the police station where she was searched,

fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

 

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened

the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the

arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

 

He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind

your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in

front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.

 

I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life'

license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker,

and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally

I assumed you had stolen the car.''

********************************************************

 

I chucked over it, then got to thinking how many times I have seen something very similar  pop up in my daily life. But it is not isolated to any one particular religious faith. I have seen people of all spiritual paths act in opposition to the tenets, teachings and philosophies of their chosen spiritual journey. And it also seems that the more devout the person professes to be the more that person transgresses upon the tenets of his/her belief system. None of us are perfect of course, by a long stretch, and we all have times and moments when we do not act in accord with our faith. But if we truly wish to better ourselves spiritually, this is something we should acknowledge and try to grow past as we strive to evolve and become better than we are. Consider each individual as a work in progress. Yes there are guides and teachers, and there are parameters set here and there designed to help us along the way to perfection within our personal belief systems, but they do us little good unless we own what we do. We all need to face our spiritual imperfections and short comings if we truly wish to evolve spiritually. Only by facing ourselves candidly can we achieve that which we all are striving for. We are all a work in progress, but only we can do the work. No one else can do it for you. Become attain and enjoy the journey.

Angioplasti

Well the day started at 4:17 am, I got up, took my meds and a breathing treatment then took Annwn out for a morning walk. 5:00 am  we headed out the door for Union Hospital in Terre Haute. I checked in at 6 am then was taken a speedy trip through the maze  in  a wheelchair to Coronary section where I was prepped. I laid there for about an hour and a half before being wheeled to the operating room. The Doc was pretty much on time at 8 am and I laid there on that uncomfortable table long enough that my tail bone felt like it was strategically placed on a bolder. After an hour of working on me the Doc finally announced that they were done. Then he told me that he has gotten the 95% blockage opened and the stint put in but that he could not get the 100% block opened. He said it was like hitting a concrete wall. So the treatment will have to be blood thinners and cholesterol meds. Then he vanished while post Op team moved in and got me mobile and back on the bed laying flat again. I laid in the recovery room for a short while then was taken up to a room on the 3rd floor, where AI had to lay flat for another 2 hours. Now I have always had  a problem with laying flat. If I lay too flat I get a sick headache and nauseous. I have always been that way, so it was quite an ordeal for me. During the whole thing except in the Op room and recovery, my wife was at my side. Finally about 12:30 pm she had to leave and go take care of our Furkid, Annwn who was himself quite worried about me. Annwn, my service dog is basically my shadow, we are hardly ever apart. About 12:30 pm they removed the tube from my leg, while the nurse held hand pressure on the wound for 20 minutes. Then I had to lay flat for another two hours, staring at the ceiling or out the window. The BP monitor squeezing my arm every 10-15 minutes and the nurse running in to check on me every 15 min prevented me from dozing off. then finally I was able to sit up and my wife returned with my comp and glasses so I could see to read. While I laid there another 7 hours. My tailbone had been screaming at me for several hours and my back felt like one huge knot by the time I was finally unhooked from the assortment of wires and tubes and allowed to get out of bed, of course with quite a draft going on in the back. The Nurse had to stretch to reach the top ties then she tied off the bottom, and holding the back end closed, took me for a stroll around the wing. Since I did not fall on my face or spring a leak I was pretty much turned loose to be on my own. I stood up just enjoying the feeling for at least 20 minutes and watched TV. Then puttered around a bit in the room and sat in a chair, to watch some TV reruns and do one last facebook update. Sitting here doing this blog entry and watching the news the gown is getting where it is not quite enough to ward off the chill. I know the bed would be warmer  with the pile of blankets but I look at it in dread though I know that sooner or later I will have to bite the bullet and crawl in there to sleep. But right now I am just not sleepy. The nurse said that when I go to bed she needs to check me again. Then hopefully I can sleep through the long night and be able to go home in the morning.

tomorrow it is

Sitting here in the ole chair looking out at a dismal looking morning that finally holds the promise of rain. Some had fallen over night, not much of course but enough to wet the porch and sidewalk. looking at the clock I notice that in 24 Hr from now I will be undergoing heart surgery to open one of the blockages. I am not fond of having any sort of surgery, but the idea of someone poking around in the ole ticker is even less appealing. But the alternative is worse and sometimes in life we need to select the lesser of two undesirable choices, simply because the outcome we actually want is just not a possibility at that point in time. I see this in politics all the time. I have not seen a really good candidate for a political office in many many years. So the choice is boiled down to having to choose from a rotten apple and a REALLY rotten apple. But there are other life events that are similar. Hard times limit a persons choices. When you have no money and the bill collectors are hounding you and you cannot buy food for your family, the choices you see are very limited and none are actually good or ideal by any means. Some people resort to robbery, which is probably the worst choice, some borrow money and get further into debt, then a very few individuals and I stress very few in this day and time, will knock on a few doors and ask if there is some sort of work the house holder may have in exchange for a little food or a few dollars. No not always good choices but we always have a choice. My choice is to try to live longer and regain my health so that I can again lead a somewhat productive life, given my own limitations. But still I do not look forward to the procedure. Sometimes we just need to "suck it up and bite the bullet" For that too is a part of life.

surgery Post Poned

well here I was all ready to go in for the heart surgery tomorrow morning and the docs office called to postpone, It is now scheduled for September 15. I guess that will give me time to get some better tires on the front of the truck. But will set me back about a month on any firewood cutting. Hopefully the weather will not suddenly turn off cold,

Coffee and Doughnuts, the rhythms of life

Yesterday i went with my wife to Terre Haute so that she could have an MRI done on her back. She has degenerative disks and chronic back pain, and as it had been years since her last MRI, the Doc wanted a new one to see how her condition may have progressed. While sitting in the lobby waiting for them to do the procedure, I read my autographed copy of  "Modern Magick" by my friend Donald Michael Craig. It just happened that the TV show "Doctors" was blaring in the background, and they were doing something on "girl parts" I vaguely remember several references to "vagina" but my book was more interesting to me, so I just let it drone in the background. I started feeling drowsy and could smell the coffee at the courtesy table was still fresh so I stretched, laid the book aside and thought I would help myself to a cup of the bitter brew. While sauntering over, I noticed that the "Doctors" had went off and "Ellen" had come on, mainly because I had to walk past the big screen TV on my way to grab that cupa joe. They had a large tray of pastries handy there too. I had not had a one in a long time, so I helped myself to a square shaped offering that was covered with milk chocolate icing. I was pleasantly surprised to find they were also fresh, since I had expected them to be stale so late in the afternoon. Grabbing the booty from my raid on the courtesy station, I sauntered back to my seat, hot cup in one hand, napkin-wrapped sweet in the other, and levered myself into the no-so comfy chair, took a sip of the hot bitter coffee, followed by a bite  of the pasty, and contemplated the floor patterns while Ellen droned in the background, something about babies.. I chuckled recalling some of the jabber on the previous show about penises and Vaginas and birth canals, followed by a thing on babies. I took another bite and washed that down with another sip of coffee and again contemplated the intricate patter in the weave of the carpet. Sometimes you can see messages in random patterns, and sometimes just cool pictures that seem to change each time you look at them.

Now as is the norm when you strive daily to strengthen your connection to Spirit, sometimes you will see a revelation in the most innocent act, that gets you to contemplating something else. I took another bite, while staring at the carpet and reviewing the material I had just read in my mind. This bite tasted different. There was some sort of pale yellowish oooze in the middle of my pastry. Well it didn't taste too bad and it looked better than some stuff I had coughed up, albeit not by a lot. I washed that down with another sip of black coffee and absently tore off another bite. Then it clicked, vaginas + penises + birth canal = babies = life. Which is both sweet and bitter at times like the pasty and black coffee I held in my hands. Well I had already known that but really had not thought about it in a very long time. Like the yellowish stuff inside the pastry, sometimes the sweetest things at first look rather unappealing, but turn out to be the sweetest part of life. And sometimes like the pastry itself, often what looks absolutely delicious on the surface harbors hidden secrets that to some may appear quite distasteful. The sweet can sometimes become overwhelming, so after a sip of the bitter, to wash it down, the contrast of the next bite tastes so much better. the alternating sweet and bitter bites mimic the cycles of life. We are here to experience, learn and to grow.  If life is too easy we become complacent, too filled with the sweet to really appreciate what we have. Then the bitter events of life shake us out of our complacency, and help us to appreciate the sweet that much better.

Like the pasty and coffee I held in my hands, we hold our lives in our hands. We make choices, some lead to sweet reward, some to bitter experiences. But as we take our bites and sips we learn, we grow, and despite ourselves we become better than we were before. Life is indeed bittersweet. Enjoy the sweet, endure the bitter with hope and understand that both extremes are necessary parts of the process of life. The last bite of pastry was followed by a few more swigs of the cooling coffee. My wife had returned, and another fact of life had hit.. there are two things you just seem to rent, coffee and beer.

Health Update

I had the heart Catherdization done and the Doc found that I have 2 blockages. One is 90% the other 100%. I go in on September 1rst for the Angioplasti. where one of the blockages will be opened up and a stint put in. He will try to do the 100% block first. If he cannot get it to open up then he will do the 90% block. If he can get it to open up he will have me come back in 2 weeks to do the 90% block. If he cannot get the 100% block open then I will have to be on some type of medication for it all of the time

On the plus side I do not have pneumonia and the infection and congestion is clearing up in my lungs.

Right now I cannot strain in any way, nor am I allowed to lift anything weighing over 10 pounds.. so pretty much lay around and do nuthin much.

SALOOOWW Blogging

I generally do not add anything here unless I feel it is something worth your valuable time to read. So my additions are generally not added on a weekly let alone daily basis. But of late I have been even slower about adding things, due to some health issues that have been plaguing me the past several months. Among them are medication side effects from various attempts of using one BP control medication after another until eventually we hit on something that both worked and did not make me very sick from the side effects. Another has been a persistent lung infection that has yet to clear up, but I am on round two of antibiotics and Prednisone for that, and I dearly hate taking prednesone. I have also been having a lot of chest pain and generally not felt well, and have had a great reduction in strength and stamina. After a few weeks of tests, it was discovered that I have a heart blockage in the upper part and need to go in this Wed. Aug the 17th after I see the lung specialist, to have a heart cathiderzation, (sp?)  Hopefully after that plus getting the lung infection cleared up I will be strong enough to cut firewood this fall. If not I really do not know what we shall do. Freeze I guess. We certaintly cannoy afford to buy wood nor can we hire someone to cut it  for us.
 But I as always shall place my faith in the powers that be that things will work out. They always do when you place your faith in the deities. Often not the way we would like, but well enough that you can get by.

As I write this, I have experienced yet another chest pain. I have them several times a day now. They are most annoying. But at least the pinched nerve in my lower back has eased up so I can sit down without pain, and even bend down to pet my dog and play frisbie with him. It really sucks being sick especially when the illness runs on for weeks into months into years. Life is pain and life is joy, and we should never take it for granted. Each day I discover and marvel upon the wonders I see around me and shake my head at the folly of human kind. The pettiness and greed and sophomoric behavior many seem to display. And then I am amazed yet again by the caring rush of strangers to help out someone they have never even met in the time of dire need. We are indeed a complex and complicated species.

Blessings one and all!

Connections and Power

Annwn and I stepped outside just before sunrise on a already hot and steamy morning. We felt it at the same time, a presence. Turning to look in the direction Annwn was also looking, I felt something trying to probe my mind. My barriers went up immediately and pushed the questing tendrils aside. Annwn growled low and dropped to s crouch, the hair sticking up upon his back. I saw it then. A shadow against the ancient lightening blasted Maple tree. I summoned my spiritual power and felt the energy rise surge within me. The shadow moved away from the tree, and began spinning. It looked like a shadowy whirlwind flecked with sparks. A Watcher. Annwn began stalking the whirling form keeping himself between me and the threat as he closed the gap between him and his prey. The Watcher suddenly seemed confused. About then my power peaked and I let it fly outward in a massive energy pulse toward the spinning shadow. Annwn sprang. but the spiritual power I had summoned had already impacted. The whirlwind was dashed backward then it flew apart and dissipated. Annwn slowed his charge as his prey vanished before him. He sniffed the tree where the Watcher had tried to hide, growled low and hiked his leg. He growled his frustration and anger yet again and returned to my side.

No one, no matter how pious or spiritual or practiced you are, can be an inexhaustible reservoir of energy. We all need to have a constant connection to and become a conduit of the source of all. We humans have many names for God-dess in all of His//Her various aspects and personages. Each name, face and facet is a small part of the Divine All, but it can tap into that inexhaustible source of Spiritual energy and channel that power through those who are well connected to the Divine and serve as a conduit of spiritual energy. And this is why even though you may know the rituals by heart and preform them by rote, they will have very little effect if you are spiritually disconnected. Yes you may have some positive results in say a spiritual or energy healing attempt, but if you feel tired, or drained afterward it is because you are not spiritually connected. Similarity if you constantly involve yourself in ritual always using more and more energy, you will also loose the spiritual connection because of the growth of the ego and personal greed and lust for power. It may sound like an oxymoron but the fact is that you only gain power by not pursuing it. Those that pursue power never discover the real power that IS and which comes from the Source of all.

Meditation, prayer, intentionally seeking and living a spiritual life keeps one connected. It is a great deal of work, and a path of constant self improvement and growth. You spend a great deal of time in introspection, candidly seeking and discovering your faults through interaction with others. You will meet many who are challenging to you in some way. They may serve the purpose of and adversary, constantly trying to make you angry, challenging your patience, and thwarting your every move. They are in your life as a means to help you become better than you are. And you must recognize this fact. Troubling times and hardships are means through which your impurities are hammered away and your spiritual strength, through the spiritual connection will increase. So the next time the Universe seems to take a Dump on you, and no matter how hard you try to get your head above water and the weight keeps dragging you down. Thank your God-dess for the opportunity to learn and to grow, and request guidance if you feel lost and it seems that you  have no where to turn. This often is the way that Spirit works to help you to re-establish your spiritual connection. It is a painful process.

We hail and acknowledge the Spiritual center, that source of all twice each day, at both sunrise and sunset. Our lives here at the ole Covenstead are rich in prayer and the natural wonders we see all around us. Yet we are also very much connected to everyday life. For we recognize that we are spiritual beings here to experience a physical existence and because of this, we need to maintain our spiritual connections. And through that connection one will discover the source of infinite power.

Lake & Hail

When I was working in the store in Brazil IN as a psychic consultant, I often resorted to using the Runes as a focusing tool to help facilitate the readings. When people are lost and confused about their life's direction many tend to seek out the services of a reader/psychic/life coach. So naturally one of the runes that commonly appeared in the reading was "Lagos/Lake/leak" the little rune with the straight line and a hook at the top shaped something like a backwards number 7. This particular rune denotes among other things that the person undergoing a time of testing, trials, challenges. Obstacles are tossed into their path for them to over come. These challenges though inconvenient and often difficult to manage are never more than the person can handle. Unfortunately many do not view the tasks as challenges but rather they perceive them as being obstacles. With this view, they experience set-back after set-back, because they lack the desire to overcome the obstacle, and just stop trying to accomplish the task laid before them. They just quit trying and wallow in their self-defeat. Yes sometimes we do try to do things contrary to what the divine plan has in store for us and our lives become increasingly difficult until we change direction and get ourselves back in harmony with the universal flow. But there are also times when it may appear as such, but we are being challenged to over come as a means for personal growth and development, and sometimes for many people it is difficult if not possible for them to see the difference. So they feel lost and confused and have lost direction and desire and well as their connection to the Universal All. The rune that often pops up when they are trying to swim against the spiritual current or need to experience a dramatic life lesson is "Hail" the one that looks like a side-ways H or perhaps a Z with longer top and bottom lines extending beyond the upright slanting line that connects them. This rune represents a Crisis of some sort that will trigger a dramatic change in the person's life often resulting in a change of direction, if not a sharp change of perspective.

When your life becomes stagnant, the Hail rune shakes you out of your security and motivates you to over come the challenges of Lake. When the lake rune pops up, do not fear the journey, get yourself as prepared as possible for what lies ahead, then take the plunge and swim. If you refuse to act, and just sit in the boat being tossed about upon a stormy sea, you will get hail from the universe, your boat will sink and you will end up in the drink anyway. When that divine hand decides that it wishes for you to learn something, it seems that not only is it persistent, but apparently we have very little choice in the matter.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

My dad often said that we were "between a rock and a hard place" Growing up without having much I really didn't understand the significance of this saying until I was on my own for a while. But I am sure that we have all been there between that rock and that hard place, and for many it almost seems like a second home, especially these days. This year is actually a "4" year according to numerology, a number that basically indicated that it will be a year of hard work, fraught with difficulties, obstacles and very little in the way of gain. Pretty much like the old saying, "the harder I try the behinder I get."

I didn't vote for Obama, I disagree with 99% of his policies, but I can say that he seems to be doing the best he can with what he has to work with. I guess historians at some point will debate upon the right or wrong of it. But he is the one everyone is pointing their fingers at, and he has become the scapegoat. I may think he is the wrong person for the job he is trying to do, but I certainly do not blame him for my troubles.

The country is between that proverbial rock and hard place, as most could probably agree. But like everything in life it is a cycle. The reason there are no jobs is simply that there ARE no jobs, they all went over seas. War is usually great for an economy because it creates jobs. Well that plan didn't work this time around because all of the jobs have left the country, so our war(s) have been great for those countries that our companies have moved and outsourced to. Supposedly it happened because they could manufacture and ship goods and services here much more cheaply than if they stayed here. So the jobs have left, and the money has left and with no money to buy stuff, the economy has ended up in the toilet. So I guess instead of pointing fingers, we should accept that we are all a little bit to blame. And if we would just channel all of the energy used in pointing fingers toward something positive and productive maybe by working together, we can pull it out of the toilet. But we also know thats never going to happen, LOL!

So we are saddled with hard times, which seem to always bring out the best and worst of people. Sometimes adversity creates a common "enemy" for the people to rally against such as the city and towns people all pitching in to save what they can in cities like Minot. Other times adversity creates desperation to the point where good people are driven to crime because they feel they have no other option. So adversity is always a test of sorts. we can work through it and rise above it and become better than we are, or we can sit idly by and point fingers and blame everyone else for our problems. We can grow bitter and stagnant, or we can transform and grow. Thats the spiritual lesson of being between a rock and a hard place. Next year things will start to get a little better..

Jungle Law

Many of the inmates I work with were gang members before and sometimes even after their incarceration. These social outcasts lived by jungle law, where the weak must give way to the strong or be crushed. I was watching a PBS documentary that reminded me of this. It featured the seasonal monsoons and droughts of Africa. When the rains were abundant, the rivers, lakes and streams all ran full of life-giving water. But during the dry season, first the streams then the rivers and lakes began to dry up. Food becomes scarce as the land broils and becomes parched under the blazing sun. Waterholes concentrate the animals, and when the elephants come to drink all of the other animals make way. next in line are the rhinoceros, giraffes, then water buffalo. Even the crocs in the waterhole do not mess with the elephants, though they may take a buffalo calf, or baby giraffe if they get the chance. Then come the zebra and gazelles and other animals with the smallest animals getting to drink last. By this time the waterhole make be churned into a thick soup of mud, urine, water and feces leaving little for the small and weak, which are the targets of the crocs, lions and other predators. Survival of the fittest, and strongest may be a necessary species survival strategy in nature, but in social settings or in modern society, it creates strife, resentment, anger, hatred, and discord.

The particular prison I have my ministry at is the Federal Super-Max facility where they house the death-row inmates. Security is very tight there and even though the lives of those men is extremely controlled, still they revert to what they know, Jungle Law. But when an inmate creates a problem, the whole facility is placed in lock-down for a week or more. What affects one affects them all. This is also exactly what happens in Nature.

Jungle law thrives on bullies and social outcasts who feel they are above the laws of society. Mankind perceiving ourselves above nature and everything else on the earth, has raped and pillaged the earth as we sought to dominate and control nature. But in the end, nature always wins. Our ancestors understood the importance of living WITH nature rather than against nature. They lived in harmony with the land and their environment. They understood what affects one affects everything around them. They understood that they could not conquer nature, so they lived in harmony with nature. This is a lesson we as a species are just recently relearning. What affects one affects all. This includes the trash people toss out of their vehicles as they cruise down the roadways. The trash people toss in the lakes, rivers and streams, and even the garbage and trash that now fills our oceans. Toss a cigarette butt out of the window and it may cause a forest fire affecting millions. What affects one affects us all.

The way of peace is working together harmoniously. The way to strife is Jungle Law. What sort of life would you prefer?

Something For Nothing

As some of you know, right now I am working on a set of stories containing parables with life lessons and answers to real life problems within those stories. One idea I had was to explain to the reader why you just do not get something of real value for nothing. But after several days of turning the idea around and around in my mind, I am finding it very difficult to properly convey that message inside of an interesting parable type story.

I myself grew up in a life situation where anything and everything was only gained through hard work and real effort. There was never something to be had for nothing. Yet some people were always were on the lookout to find the elusive "something for nothing." Now I look around and I find not only a whole generation of people who not only want, but totally expect to receive "something for nothing," and they are teaching their children this same concept.

Many people of my own generation as well as generations before me grew up in a situation where obtaining the necessities of life was a struggle. Often we went hungry because there was very little to eat. We got one pair of footwear each year, as well as 2 pair of jeans, and 3 shirts as "school clothes"along with a few pairs of socks and underwear before school started and we had to make that last throughout the school year. Maybe at Christmas time we would get more new socks and if we had outgrown our winter coat, or if it was too torn and shabby, we may get a new one, provided that there was enough money. I guess it is because of the difficulties we ourselves faced when growing up that out of love, we wanted to give what we didn't have to our own children.

So our children grew up quite spoiled compared to the way we grew up and then the internet arrived on the scene and vol-la there was a whole new world of "free stuff" available. Free email accounts and a wealth of free information. Granted a lot of it is useless crap and misinformation but there is also some good and valuable info out there as well. All FREE! Something for nothing.. well it does take a lot of our time sifting through it all, waiting on pages to load if you still have dial-up and sometimes in trying different combos in search engines to help those engines comprehend what exactly it is that you are wanting to find. But its all free.. something for nothing!

This concept has even extended well beyond the internet into what is expected in real life. Instant gratification in a fast-paced society has also entered into the mix. So now not only do we want and expect to get something for nothing, we want it like NOW. Being a Wiccan High Priest and teacher, I saw it first in the new generation of young students back in the late 80's. They would come to us wanting us to teach them what we learned ourselves through hard work and monetary cost for materials and information and reap the benefits of our many, many hours of real life practical experience, plus expecting us to supply all of the books and materials for them.. again an out of the pocket expense for us, and give nothing at all back for financial support of the group. Then because these same types wanted everything "NOW" yet were unwilling to give anything back, they received nothing other than basic theory for their non-effort. After awhile of people taking and taking without reciprocating the energy, their comes a time where there is nothing left to give. Everything has been taken.

As I alluded to earlier, I grew up in a family that had very little. An ice cream cone may be something we enjoyed once every 2 or 3 years. But that also made it that much more delicious. Something we had to work hard for and earn, we valued because of the effort and sacrifice we had to give in order to achieve it. Anything free to us had no real value, and although that is the holy grail everyone is seeking, I feel that it still holds true. In everything we gain, there must be some sort of exchange of energy somewhere along the line. This is a simple law of nature. You can pour so much water into a container before it will either over-flow or burst from the pressure. You have "limited space" albeit for some there is a lot of "space" available, but it is finite, there comes a point where you have to give something away in order to make room for something new. There always has to be an exchange.

This all makes me think of why very few Pagan Ministers do much volunteer work. We work hard to make ends meet. We give of our time and knowledge to sincere seekers, and try to help guide them through the obstacle courses they are often confronted with. But we give so much of ourselves away to our groups that there is very little if anything left that we can give to others outside of our groups. Mainstream Ministers on the other-hand are financially supported either in whole or by part by their congregations and churches. This monetary support allows them the luxury of making nursing home, hospice, and prison visits. They are very active in community matters because they do not have to worry about the luxuries such as food, shelter and clothing not to mention travel expenses. Yet I have been asked and expected to drop everything, drive 200 miles or more to do a legal marriage for a Pagan couple at ten in the morning or on a Sabbat evening simply out of the goodness of my heart. Well when you cannot afford to buy food, when you have to buy cheap material and make your own clothes because you cannot afford to buy them, and you have to choose between buying medicine to keep you alive and something for breakfast, you simply cannot afford to do everything out of the goodness of your heart.

But after looking hard enough, and long enough I FINALLY found something for nothing that does indeed have real value. This is that in each one of us, there is the potential to create right there in our own minds and hands. We can make beautiful music, we can create art, we can express love, and caring. We can craft things and we can use the tools we possess, meaning our minds and bodies to achieve any goal we decide is actually worth the time and effort to achieve. We can connect to Spirit/Higher-self/God-dess. And this is all free. It costs us nothing at all and it is the most valuable "Something" of all.

Remembering the Fallen

A lot of people use the Memorial Day weekend as break from work to party, swim, cook out, and have fun. And this is OK for they are enjoying the freedoms and privileges that many have sacrificed themselves to give them.  Memorial Day is a day set aside to honor and remember those who fought and died upon the fields of battle. It is a day when we honor our friends and loved ones who have gone before. It is a difficult to over estimate the debt we owe to the proceeding generations who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can  have what we have today. We are the heirs of all of the past ages. The blessings we now enjoy are due to the hard work, vision and sacrifice of all who have blazed the trail for us.

Many families today especially feel the pain of the loss of a loved one who has laid down his or her life in service to their country. Many who served and survived feel the pain of the loss of friends and buddies who died beside them. There are those who have sacrificed a great deal. Some with physical wounds that are easily seen, burns, missing limbs and scars. But there are also those whose wounds are not easily apparent. They suffer in silence, with emotional and spiritual wounds.

The experience and result of war is tragic for everyone involved. The very horrors of war, create an abhorrence of war for those who have experienced those horrors. Those who have not, expound upon the glory of war. But there is no glory in war. There is fear, death, survival and boredom. Yet there is an exhilaration and closeness to life found only in the mist of death and destruction that is not found anywhere else. And there is internal strife and conflict, but there is no glory in war.

Remember the fallen and be grateful for their sacrifice. But also remember those who survived and be thankful to them as well. For they too have sacrificed a great part of themselves because it was simply what they had to do. Grant them love, compassion, and understanding for what they have given but pity them not, for what they have given, they gave willingly. Help them to find the answers they seek through their faith. For they have looked into the very face of death to discover, even for a fleeting moment, the secret of life. Through terrible experiences they have touched creation and became one with the divine. Help them find their way back to making that connection so they will complete the transformation and find peace.

They are every where, everywhere!

In my life I have seen both the best and worst of humanity. I have witnessed the results of man's inhumanity towards mankind. I have worked around and with the worst of the bad apples you can imagine that our society has to offer, and even in the worst individuals, if you allow yourself to see it, there is still some good. And even though most of the people you will ever meet are really good and decent folks, there is another type out there. These are a certain type of people that were probably the inspiration for the phrase "Some people are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them." We have all met them, and often times we have met them several times throughout the progression of our lives. These individuals rarely actually break the law, and when they do, they always seem to get by with it. They seem to exist to only make our lives miserable. This is something they certainty do quite well. They are found in every walk of life and in every stripe, creed and color. Sometimes they plague us for a few days or weeks, though there are times they will plague us for years. There is a reason why they enter our lives. That reason is of course different for everyone, but over-all their purpose on a higher plateau is to actually help us to become better human beings. They are definitely unpleasant, and a huge source of stress. They seem to delight in making us miserable simply to make themselves feel better. But this is because their own lives are so miserable. But in each case where they enter our lives, it is because there is something that we need to learn from the experience and they will continue to have an effect upon us and our lives until we can learn the lesson the cosmos demands that we learn.

I recall the words of Sybill Leek where she addressed this phenomenon. Sybil said that people like this are at a low level in their reincarnation cycle, still greatly influenced by their past animalistic natures, and that we may have at one time been just like they are. And although most of us would love to see a utopian society, Sybil claimed that a Utopian Society was an impossibility because we are here in this incarnation to learn and grow. Something that would not be possible in a utopian society.

Well I would like to see a utopian society, where people would help each other out, where everyone had time for meditation, pursuits of the arts, reflection in nature, plenty of everything to meet their needs and on and on, but I too feel this is an impossibility simply because the way people are. Hopefully at some point in our evolution we as a species will finally evolve to the point where it becomes a possibility. But that will not happen in our lifetimes. So we are stuck with those who will exploit us, nature and everything else that they can exploit in any and every way they can for their own reasons and amusement. Those who will always get ahead at our expense. So how do we deal with these people? Well I myself pity them. They are miserable individuals living miserable lives. They do not have any real friends and will never know or understand the true meaning of Love. I also try to learn why they are in my life at that particular time. I intentionally examine my own life and and the part they are playing in it as well as the steps I myself took to bring them into my life. Then I try to work through the lesson they have for me to learn. Once I can accomplish this, I can put them behind me and enjoy much more pleasant things. It is all a part of realizing that we are in control of our own lives and taking personal responsibility for our lives rather than passing the  buck. As we learn the lessons these people have for us to learn, our need to have them in our lives lessens, and the frequency of these types crossing our life paths becomes less and less frequent. Eventually, and hopefully we will ourselves grow to the point where we no longer need to learn and re-learn the life lessons that those types are in our lives to teach us.

Death as a friend

Our society has an ingrained fear of death. We are all taught this from a very early age. So we grow up fearing death, and when someone in our family dies, we are almost apologetic when we have to ask for time off to attend the funeral. Society has made us materialistic and possessive. So when someone close to us dies, we have difficulty letting go, and their passing leaves a big hole in our lives. The greater the role the deceased played in our lives the greater the sense of loss. The resulting trauma we feel is real pain, as intense as any physical pain can be. People around us are very supporting for the first few days or even few weeks, but then they just want us "to get over it." But this stems from their own fears concerning death. But the reality is that we never are able to "just get over it." Grief over the loss of a valued person in our lives is a process we must work through in order to heal in a healthy manner. When we experience a loss, we all must do our "grief work" and in some cases as in the death of a spouse or significant other this process may take a year or more for us to complete that "grief work." Our society fears death. But this was not always the case.

Our ancestors had a different perspective on death and dying. Life was hard and death was a release from the struggle that life offered. Death was a celebration of the continuance of life, and an acknowledgement that the deceased had completed all of the tasks s/he was required to in that particular incarnation.

In my own religious philosophy, which is based upon the beliefs our ancestors held, life and death are merely two different aspects of the learning progression of the soul. A person is born into this life to learn and grow spiritually. During the process, we learn pain, and sickness and hardship as well as the joys and pleasures and feelings of triumph in overcoming some of the many difficulties that the process of life demands of us. Our ancestors did not fear death, they embraced death as the blessing of peace and opportunity of rest and reward for the completion of a phase of the continuing process of life and evolution of spirit.

Death is the great unknown, and though many have traveled that path of transition, the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is not something we can see through while we are in corporeal form. Our fear of death causes us to flee death, adding to our ignorance of death. Our ancestors understood death much better, because they embraced death as a friend. Yes, like us I am certain they felt the pain of the loss of a loved one, but they also knew they would meet again when they themselves crossed behind the veil. They did not have the concept of the Christian hell, but they did have the belief that the soul of someone who was basically a rotten apple in life would undergo the pain of purification in death, until the soul was ready to return to experience another phase of life and learning and spiritual growth.

During my work with hospice patients, I have often witnessed the dying comforting the ones they would be leaving behind when the transition from life to death occurred. Many of them actually look forward to death, because once faced with the reality that they are going to die, they have come to understand death and view death as a friend rather than an enemy to be feared. Yet our society continues to view death as a disease and act as if it may be contagious.

Death can happen to anyone at any time. Some of us will die suddenly, other will die slowly. But the fact is we will all eventually die, and when that time comes, we will meet death alone, one on one.

Many my age and older may recall the movie entitled "Death Takes a Holiday", where death fell in love with a mortal woman who was supposed to die and he suddenly stopped gathering souls. For a time there was no death. Burned victims screamed in agony, tortured by the pain of raw nerves exposed to the air, people in car crashes with half their bodies mangled lived on to the bafflement of the medical professionals. Without death, people suffered horribly all over the world. Finally Death saw what was happening and allowed the compassion he felt for the many suffering souls to overcome his love of the woman and he again began gathering his work in releasing people from their pain and suffering.

Death is a necessary process of life. Life feeds upon death. This is apparent in nature, but for those isolated from close contact with nature this is something that is not quite understood. As it is, something must die so that something else may live. We all consume the life energy of something else, whether that be the life of the lettuce and tomato in your salad or the beef that was killed to make your cheese burger. Every time you eat, you are consuming life no matter what you eat, it has given it's life so that you may live.

So death is the key to life. My father feared death all of his life. He was in fact terrified of death and he suffered terribly. Then one day, he lost that fear and passed into the afterlife peacefully. His suffering had come to an end, his pain had gone.

I myself served a hitch in the service of Uncle Sam and was often in the place where death was close at hand. Death had become my constant companion and he could have touched me on the shoulder at any moment. Because death was so close and constantly there, like the hospice patients I worked with i learned that Death was not my enemy. I began to understand something about death and in the process Death became my friend. I no longer fear death, for I have gotten a glimpse of that which lies beyond the veil and I know that it is not so bad. But I am in no rush to get there either. I did not survive the experiences of my past for naught, there is some purpose I need to fulfill yet. My tasks are not yet at an end, yet my experiences may have been gathered to help someone else understand the answer or at least enough of the answer to feel a measure of comfort when death touches them or someone close to them on the shoulder.

May you all live long and happy lives. I know my own life has become much more peaceful when I allowed Death to become my friend.

Sacred marrage and Regicide

One could not help but observe the Pagan undercurrents at work around Beltane this year. We of course had the Royal Wedding on the 29th of April with the Prince wearing the God colors and the bride wearing the colors of the maiden aspect of the Goddess. I did not watch the wedding, as I really was not interested in it at all, but heard that they did a Handfasting ceremony within the marital service. Then since by the old Celtic custom of "Beltain" or "May Eve " beginning at Sunset of the 29th which actually would be about the time one would expect the royal consummation to take place.

May 1rst is also the traditional time of regicide, and it just happened that Osama ben Laden was killed (executed) on that very day. With news of his death people around the world celebrated. I myself could never celebrate the death of another, no matter how bad the individual was in life, there was still some sort of purpose to him or her being here at this time and place. We may never understand the purpose in our lifetime, but the purpose is or was there and someday historians will point that purpose out. But the King was killed and his blood was spilled upon the ground, for the furtherance of new life. Then he was given to the sea, the watery womb of the Great Mother just as have many divine or Sacred Kings (King Arther for one).

Trolls have a purpose

I think pretty much everyone is familiar with the childhood fairy tales of hideous trolls that dwell beneath bridges and suddenly pop out to attack and devour hapless and unwary travelers. The thing is trolls are alive and well and often are confronted by us as we travel along our life's path. The physical appearance of a troll is that of a normal human being, but the inner self of the troll which they try very much to conceal, even for many years until they suddenly decide to reveal their hideousness to us is quite ugly indeed. Trolls always seek the easy path to power and control, and will wheedle, deceive, and connive to get as close to the "power" as they can, and as soon as they think they have wrung the usefulness out of you, they try to devour you or if they suddenly perceive you as a threat, or obstacle, they will attack. They are very good at spreading sugar around to bait people, and are intentionally misleading as long as it suits their purpose, but sooner or later like the fairy-tale troll that hides beneath the bridge, they will suddenly spring up seemingly out of nowhere, completely taking you by surprise and  attack you with a fury and intensity that your worst enemy would never consider. Like the fairytale troll, they metaphorically try to devour you.

I have encountered many many such trolls, and likely will encounter more in the future. We all have. Some had been accepted into our Coven. They seemed very sincere and hardworking at first, but as a few months went by, it could be seen they were well versed in theory, but fell well short in practice. They always look for the shortcut and are not inclined to do the hard work it takes for self-development. They want things given to them and if you do not give them what they want they simply try to take it. When that fails they attack with everything in their limited arsenal. They spread lies and rumors and bully others into backing them up as they systematically assassinate your character. The assault is both brutal and painful to experience and it is difficult to not become angry from the pain inflicted and the perceived damage they are doing in our lives.

Trolls remind me of a story I once read someplace, which was a Christianized version of the same scenerio.

There was a traveler who had a goal in his mind that he wanted very much to reach as he walked along a winding path. One day he met a large being standing upon his path blocking his way. "Good sir" said the traveler, "Would you mind stepping aside so that I may continue my journey?" The stranger said nothing only stood there with his arms folded across his chest. So the travel made as if to step around the silent being, but quick as a wink the adversary tossed him to the ground. The travel landed so hard that the wind was knocked out of him. The traveler was at first stunned then as he got his breath while watching the being standing over him with arms crossed over his chest he became angry, and sprung up, only to be dashed down again. This happened again and again and again, until finally his anger abated, exhausted from his efforts, the travel lay there in the dust upon the path and asked. "Who are you? and Why is it that every time I rise to my feet you dash me back upon the ground?" Then the stranger explained, "I am Satan, My purpose is to make you stronger." Traveler replied, "Stronger? why I am so weak from exhaustion that I can hardly move!"  Satan said, "Each time I have cast you down, have you not become stronger and more determined?"

Such is the purpose of people like that who suddenly for reasons of their own become "the adversary." And no it is definitely not a pleasant situation. Very often, though not always the case, they are people we have grown to trust and consider as close friends. And when this is the case the attack takes us even more by surprise and is even more painful. Sometimes these trolls will form alliances as long as it is mutually beneficial to them and will team up on someone, or an entire group of people. But as soon as they can see no benefit with the alliance they will turn on each other. So they really do not have any real friends, they are only capable of the illusion of friendship.

A troll attack can last for several months, but eventually they get tired of the effort, because it takes a lot of work to keep up a constant assault. Remember though that trolls do not like doing any REAL work, so they will eventually forget all about you and move on to their next perceived, source of power. If you allow yourself to stoop to their level, and return the attack they will see you as a threat as long as you retaliate. But if you choose to rise above  them, not allowing their assault to affect you, they will tire more quickly and move on and forget all about you.

Yes trolls are very good at slinging mud, but they really have no more power over you than you give them. If you refuse to get down on their level and wallow in the mud with them, the mud will not stick to you and others will see the troll for the hideous creature it actually is.

I actually touched on this in part twp, Chapter 6 of "the Wiccan Minister's Manual, a Guide For Priests and Priestesses" The exerpt is below.

Blessings!

When we face the truth about ourselves, and become truthful with ourselves. We begin upon a new and wonderful road of discovery and growth. When we are truthful with ourselves, we can become truthful with others, and become known as a person of truth who can be trusted. It takes a long time to build this image of a person of integrity. It takes one disgruntled person to cloud that image with accusations of falsehood, which they pull from the image they have of themselves.

Being painted as a liar, and an untrustworthy person is probably the gravest and worst thing anyone can say about a practitioner of magick. People are quick to believe the worst in others because they see the worst in themselves. And people tend to resent anyone whom they may feel might, in their eyes be better than they are. If people believe that a person of integrity has “fallen from grace,” they can feel superior to that person, and thus for at least a little while feel good about themselves.

If the person is a person of integrity, he or she may feel wounded, or hurt by the accusations, more so if those accusations come from a trusted and dear friend. But if the person is indeed a person of integrity, he or she will trust that eventually, his/her word of truth and deeds will speak for themselves and the stain upon the cloaking thoughtform will fade. While the person who initiated the stain will be exposed for the lying, deceitful, poison-filled individual that he or she may be. For persons of integrity may have mud slung at them, but it quickly washes off, as long as the person refuses to wallow in the mud with the mudslinger.

Everyone makes mistakes. They are part of the learning process of being human. Acknowledging those mistakes and learning the lessons they teach us, is a means of growth. We shall all trip and stumble along our path through life. Sometimes we will even fall and fall hard. But we must pick ourselves up, and dust ourselves off and get on with the process of living. It is easy to give into the temptation of slinging mud back at those who sling mud at us. It is easy to give into the temptation of visiting pain upon those who cause us pain. It is easy to fall into the trap of lying to others about our shortcomings. But when we give into those temptations, we loose our integrity, and we become the person others wish we were, rather then the person we will ourselves to be. To be known as a person of truth, a person of integrity, and a person who can always be trusted and counted upon. So in this way, no matter what others may say against you, you will always be thought of as a person whom others would like to aspire to, a person of her/his word.

The Epic Battle of Annwn’s Slue

 Often truth is stranger than fiction, and real events often become the inspiration behind the stories I create for my new works on parables. This is a peek at Chapter 7 of something I am currently working on, this one is a bit different from the previous 6 chapters.

The Epic Battle of Annwn’s Slue

One cloudy morning in early spring, between rain showers Annwn went forth to patrol the borders of his domain. As he was crossing the slue, Annwn spied a stranger wearing armor ahead. Annwn, the mighty warrior pounced forth and called out a greeting, “Ho! Stranger! I bid you welcome to Annwn’s kingdom!”

The stranger saying nothing unsheathed his weapons and brandished them in the air in challenge. “Ho, Ho!” Cried Annwn, “If it is a fight instead of a welcome you seek, then lets have at it!”

The combatants squared off, circling and taking the measure of the other. Annwn spoke again saying, “Ah! I see by your armor and colors that you must be seeking revenge for your countryman who I slew near this spot a year ago. I had offered him a welcome, but he smote me in the nose with a mighty blow, so I vanquished him quickly and left his shattered remains as a feast for the carrion birds and flies. This too shall be your fate if you insist upon this folly!”

The stranger uttered not a sound but continued offering his challenge to fight. The combatants squared off, Annwn smote the ground a mighty blow causing the earth itself to quake. The stranger blocked and parried, with his sharp weapons as Annwn boxed, and feinted. A right, a right, then a left, he threw. Turf was tossed high in the air as they came together in mortal combat. The ground quaked from the blows the vegetation was ripped from the soil exposing bare earth so fierce was the fight. Then Annwn landed a mighty blow sending the stranger sailing high into the air and into a mat of thick grasses where he lay stunned, yet unhurt thanks to his heavy armor.

So swift was the blow and so hasty was the flight of the stranger that Annwn stood perplexed at the sudden disappearance of his foe. The battle lust had come upon him, so Annwn sought the stranger all around, seeking to put an end to the battle of tooth and claw. But the stranger had vanished. Thinking the stranger must have been dashed to atoms, Annwn quit the battle scene and completed his patrol. He circled back seeking the stranger’s remains, but they were nowhere to be found. The stranger had recovered, but realizing the folly of challenging so great a warrior the crayfish hid among the tall grass by the flowing water. The rain had returned so Annwn, the mighty Doberman Pinscher, fearing he would melt from the force of the light rain falling from the sky, decided to quit the great outdoors for the dry comforts of his soft bed where he could dream of epic battles, and fierce chases.

Regicide alive and well in today's society

After doing a review for my friend Terry Michael Riley on his new book, "Brothers of the Sun...." I decided to revisit some of the old myths concerning male mysteries. Among these old practices was the evolution of the divine/sacrificial king.

In the earliest days, the Divine King was probably a priest, as he was the earthly embodiment, not representative but embodiment of the local God. This triggered the impulse to create another story addition to a book I am currently working on, although this one came out as more of a Native American type tale. Thats probably due to my Cheyenne and Cherokee blood speaking to me from times long past.

Anyway, due to my ministry at the Federal Prison in Terre Haute, I am privileged to speak candidly with incarcerated druglords. And in their lives I see the mythological parallels very much alive and at work. Like the Divine or Sacrificial Kings, they wanted for nothing, they had the money to get what ever they wanted and the power, through their own army, or workforce to to mete out their own brand of justice and order and to enforce their will within the confines of their own Kingdoms. They were never destined to grow old in their chosen professions, as after a time of rule, while still retaining their virility, they would loose their lives. Some would be killed by rival kingdoms, some through treachery within their own ranks, and some would be incarcerated, still loosing their lives for the good of society. Though still living their lives were sacrificed for the benefit of the people. Those who were actually killed, again their blood was spilled upon the ground, and they were killed during the height of their virility.

The guys I have spoken to have evolved and grown to the point where they realize the plague they had themselves spread through society and have a strong wish to do something positive or FOR society when they serve their lengthy sentences. In the Maximum security facility where I do my thing, a 20 year sentence is a short-timer. So now perhaps, it can be seen clearly what I mean by saying these men have "lost their lives."

Possible Blood Poisoning - Update

I saw the Doc yesterday and she said that id did look like a spider bite. She gave me a tetanus shot and some strong double antibiotics. I soaked it in Epsom salts again when I got home, as it had become painful again. Today the red streaks running up to my elbow are gone, the redness is fading, and it is much less painful, it is even easier to type, and though the swollen area is still quite large, I think that is beginning to abate. It is still hot to the touch, but not as hot as it was yesterday, so I guess I am on the mend. Thanks again everyone for your prayers, and concern.

Possible Blood Poisoning

First of all thanks everyone for your concerns, and healing prayers. 

A week before last Sat we cleaned up and burned a lot of storm damage debris from the trees including a pile of branches and leaves that had accumulated from last year or maybe a bit longer. The next day (Sunday) my wrist and forearm began itching, I thought at first that it may be poison ivy from the debris pile, but there were no blisters. Then I noticed an insect bite on my forearm. It itched occasionally during the following week, with some minor swelling about 2 inches in diameter from the bite. Friday evening the swelling suddenly increased, and the area became discolored. Sunday evening (yesterday) red streaks started radiating up my arm from the swollen area. So we soaked it in Epsom salts and the red streaks had faded after the soak. The bite had become painful and the inner part of my forearm has become sore like it is bruised. Moving my fingers like typing has become uncomfortable. The swelling has spread and the area is hot to the touch.

I never felt the bite, nor did a see a spider, but I cannot think of anything else it could have been. The pile of dead leaves and limbs would have been ideal spider habitat so my assumption is that it is a spider bite.

I will post an update after the doc sees it.

CRISIS, Under the influence

I once knew a fella that always said "There are only two things in this world I cannot stand, a drunk when I'm sober and a sober man when I'm drunk." But being a member of the clergy, counseling someone when they are under the influence is something that crops quite frequently. I have heard it said that you cannot talk to a drunk. Well you can, it may not be easy, it may be exasperating and you may have to watch out what you say, as everything is a bit or more than a bit distorted for them. They never want to talk to you when they are sober when you can actually help them make sense of things. And if you try they just blow you off and say everything is wonderful and coming up roses. Then you get that call in the middle of the night, they are at their whits end, they are gonna do something about what ever problem they are confronted with right then, and no body is gonna stop em either. Some times they get so depressed they are on the verge of suicide sometimes so angry they are on the verge of committing murder and have lost enough self control and lost any sort of common sense or openness to reasonable alternatives, so yep it is difficult. The only control you may have is your integrity, your honesty, and hopefully your wisdom, and yes your connection to Divinity sure helps too. They want to talk to you because they really want someone to stop them from doing what ever it is they are planning on or compelled to do, they are also lost, feeling lost, and they need guidance and they seek you out because of the respect they have for you. You really have to be on your toes, because the dialogue can degenerate to an explosive and dangerous situation in the blink of an eye. But mostly they just need to talk, to vent, and they need help and direction. They do not need you to control them they need your support to learn to control themselves. They do not need a list of "Thou shalts" but they do need some positive suggestions and hope. You need to help them see that although it may be a very dark and trying time, that there is a light at the end. You also need to motivate them positively to dig themselves out of the mess they have landed in. Then hopefully you have helped them to resolve the crisis, if you can once the crisis has passed, inject a bit of levity into the atmosphere, but even in this be careful because it can still back-fire on you and re-create a crisis situation. You need patience, they need support, you need self control, they need to see you are in control. You need to use suggestion and gentile guidance, come on too strong and they will turn on you. Be careful, use your wits, be respectful, and if they suddenly order you out of their house then do not argue, just say OK and exit. More often than not what they want there is a confrontation, by avoiding that, often they will change their mind and ask you back, and even calm down a bit. It is difficult, potentially dangerous, and something a professional counselor is not confronted with, but as a member of Clergy, sooner or later this will be something you are faced with.

Good luck!

Workshops and Pagan Event Invitations

For the past several weeks, I have been receiving several invitations to conduct workshops and guest speaking at Pagan events that are several states away, one even from Berkley California. Unfortunately, I am on a shoe-string budget and cannot afford the transportation. Though If I were able to do so I know I would sell more books, but it takes money to make money they say and being financially challenged, it is even more difficult to get anything off the ground. The one book I have out is in dire need of re-editing and though it has been an amazon best seller as have my other two books, I lack the funds to re-issue that one as it is a self-published work. It seems that I am in more demand in nearly every state but my home state and the states surrounding it except Michigan and thats a LOOOONG drive from the ole covenstead. Last year and the year before last I received several invitations to events in Florida as well, but could not afford the trip down there. This year as gas prices climb I have to stay even closer to home. But a person has to eat and pay bills first then if there is anything left over to squirrel away saving a little at a time I can do a trip every couple of years, or have been able to thus far. Though both trips were to the wonderful state of TN. I have been down there on 3 different book promotions and each time I was able to pay for most of the cost of the trip in book sales and speaking gratuities. But any farther than that and I would probably still be trying to pay the costs off on the ol'e plastic high-interest account.

Everything has gone up but wages. My wife works in the medical field and her hours have been cut back due to cuts in medicare and medicaid. School budgets are cut, and anything to help the American poor has been slashed as well, yet why is it that some folks in Washington have passed legislation to give free medical care, free housing, and job location assistance to illegal aliens?? I just do not get that. Lets take care of our own people first. There ate millions of American citizens going hungry, going without adequate medical and dental care, loosing their homes sleeping on the streets eating from trash cans, freezing to death in winter, and there is no government assistance available for them. Yet someone from another country can come over here and be set up in a nice home, given a government allotment allowance of about $2,000/month per person, free medical care and job placement assistance all paid by YOU! That is not right folks. Then we have veterans who fought for this country sleeping under overpasses and dying from combat related maladies or starving on the streets due to the lack of funds. I do not know if this is the "Change we can Believe in" or not but it sure is the reality of the result of a lot of "Change"

Well before I really get off on a rant I'll stop here, LOL!

Clergy and End of Life

Clergy and End of Life

Here it is less than a week before the first day of spring, the time when our focus is on life, living and new beginnings. Yet several times these past weeks I have seen the truck pulling the trailer that carries and sets burial vaults making trips up and down the road between the place of business to the north and the cemeteries to the south. The fall equinox pretty much marks a time when the death rate rises. Then after the vernal equinox the death rate diminishes, yet death can happen any time to any one.

Death and dying are things people naturally shun talking about, or thinking about, yet it is a fact of life that like birth we will all experience death in one manner or other. For some, death may come suddenly without warning in an accident or natural disaster. For others it will be the termination of a long and painful illness. But the fact is we all will at some point leave this physical life through the process of death.

Throughout recorded history, and perhaps well before, Clergy, i.e. Priestesses and Priests have filled the rolls of preparing the dying for the afterlife, officiating the funerary services and rites, as well as counseling the living through the whole process including helping them to do their grief work. So as distasteful as it may be to most, this is an area where Clergy are expected to be very competent in. The dying and their family and friends will look to you for guidance and answers, and they will look to you to help them find closure. They will look to you for comfort at a time of intense pain. They will look to you for advice and guidance at a time when their own thinking processes are severely compromised by the trauma of loss. And they will rely upon your strength of faith and spiritual connection to grant them the strength of will to work through this difficult time. So as a member of Clergy, whether you have had prior experience in this are or not, you should be very well prepared to deal with the entire process of helping someone prepare themselves to die, helping the family prepare for the inevitable death, helping the survivors through the funeral process, officiating the services, and then being available for the survivors as they work through the grieving process.

All of this is outlined, step by step in my book, “The Pagan Clergy’s Guide For  Counseling, Crisis Intervention And Otherworld Transitions,” Published by Waning Moon Publications. I have spent some years working with hospice patients through Vista Care, and I have officiated funerals in both traditional (funeral home) and non-traditional settings. I have also spent a lot of time talking to Christian ministers on their own experiences and distilled all of that information in “The Pagan Clergy’s Guide…” By using the material in that book, you will have every thing you need right there at your fingertips to competently and professionally officiate a funeral and the skills to help you help those who are dying and their survivors. Yes this is a plug for the book, but it is also more than just a plug, it is a desire to help you, as members of Clergy to be able to fulfill your role when you are called to do so at what may be the most difficult task you will be asked to accomplish. And to do it in such a manner that you do the task with complete competence and professionalism. This is not a time to drop the ball or bungle the task.

Some things I did not add in the book, I will mention here. You have completed the deliver of your funeral message and service. It is time for the family and friends to walk by the casket and say a final farewell as they file out. Your job now is to stand beside the deceased and guard the remains. Sometimes you may have to physically pry someone away from the body. You are there to protect the body, for the person in the casket can no longer protect their self. You may see about anything at this point where people literally break down. Some may suddenly become angry and begin assaulting the body. Some may try to remove something from the coffin or person of the deceased. It is OK to slip mementos into the coffin, but it is not OK for people tom take souvenirs.

 The people have all filed out, the pallbearers are waiting out of sight in an adjoining room until called back in to carry the casket out. Your job here is to again stay with and guard the deceased. Most funeral directors are honest. But a few are not and may try to loot the coffin before it is sealed. You are to step back out of the way and allow them to do their job while attentively observing, and ensuring that the deceased is protected against theft, or indignity.

Once the coffin is sealed, the funeral director will call the pallbearers in. You will proceed the deceased out of the funeral home then stand reverently by out of the way while the coffin is being loaded into the hearse. Then when that is done you will find you vehicle waiting for you behind the lead car. The hearse will fall in line behind you. You as officiant/Priest-ess, always precede the deceased in his/her journey from ritual site to internment site. Follow the lead car until it stops in the cemetery, then get out of the car and stand behind and to the side of the hearse out of the way of the pallbearers. Then when the casket is unloaded, you walk ahead of the procession, to the grave site where you wait until the coffin is placed and everyone is assembled, then you deliver a short graveside message and then the funeral director will coax everyone out so they can finish the job of interring the remains and closing the grave. Your job as funeral officiant is done. Share in the celebration of life as the family has a meal afterward if this is done. Then leave them to begin healing.

The next hat you wear will be as a grief counselor. In the case of a surviving widow or widower you should arrange to meet them a week after the funeral to access their mind state and continue giving them your support. The grief process may take a year or more for many to work through. And if their grief becomes abnormal grief you need to encourage them to seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist. Remember their metal health is far more important than your petty ego.

Becoming/Attaining

Becoming…. Good? Becoming = Attaining. Attaining = “Getting Stuff” - Better
home, more money, better job, more powerful, more better more better…..
If we Attain wealth – become wealthy; Attain power and become powerful;
Attain knowledge and become knowledgeable. What we attain, we become, and
what is attained becomes an extension of the Ego, whether that is strength,
knowledge, or affluent, because the Ego incorporates that fact.
So “Attaining is the Self’s process of “Becoming”. Becoming is intricately
woven into the nature of time and the mechanics of Thought. BOTH which
support the fabric of Fear, which in turn is the barrier to self-awareness.
The driving Force behind Becoming is our feelings of insufficiency. We feel
that we are insufficient to the task of living.
Look deeply and honestly within yourselves and see your inner truth. As a
species, humans are empty, fearful, lonely, and isolated. Mankind has
isolated itself from the world, constructing barriers to isolate ourselves
even further. We hide away in our artificially climate-controlled
environments. Separated from nature and each other. We imitate those whom we
believe know more than ourselves, and we shun those whom we judge to have no
value to our own ambitions and pleasures.
We fear Death, and we fear Life. We tie together, pleasure, security, and
need, calling this package “Love.” We are self-centered and concerned with
our own welfare, even to the detriment of nearly everyone else. The world we
have created is based upon possessiveness and ambition. And if we are TRULLY
honest with ourselves, we can see that we are really empty shells, playing a
role in this reality of our creation. That is not living, it is existing.
So, in our loneliness, we reach out and through attainments, we seek to fill
our emptiness with possessions, power, knowledge, talents, prestige, or the
love of others. But this is a vain process because that emptiness is the
ABSENCE of Love. True Love, which is the love that blooms within us when we
are able to realize the true reality of ourselves; The reality of the Divine
within, and make that connection to that spark of the God-dess within all of
us. The Void within is the absence of this connection to Spirit, and no
amount of power, or wealth, or prestige, or “STUFF” can fill that void.
In most of us, that void is the driving force of Attainment; the root of our
never-ending desire to become what we are not. So the process of endless
becoming is endless attaining, and that is the obstacle in the path of
self-understanding.
That void within can only be filled with LOVE, Perfect love, Divine Love.
And it begins with first understanding and loving the SELF, which we ARE.
Through that acceptance, we can connect with our Divine Self and then
recognize Divinity in others. Other creatures, beings, plants, the cosmos,
and through that understanding, we can make the connections to ALL that IS
because we are a part of and connected to all that is. We are God. We are
Goddess. We are Divine. We ARE…

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when
there is nothing left to take away.” – Antoine de Saint-Exup’ery

I know why they wore hoods

Standing upon the frosty ground, peering east through the ice fog at the golden glow intensifying over the distant tree tops, I begin to hail the sunrise of a new day. A sound, distant at first, but quickly becoming louder, the clicking of grackles and the trilling "Good Moooorning!" of the Red-winged Blackbirds as wave after wave of mixed flocks flew over head. I quickly raised the hood of my hooded sweatshirt, being an unfortunate victim of aerial assault before. A hood is a handy thing to have attached, which was why they were worn on the capes and cloaks of a by-gone age. It helps to retain body warmth. It can hide your face in shadow, if you prefer to be discrete, and it protects ones noggin from gifts from above.

Life Journey/Spirit Journey

It seems that Spirit or "the powers that be" which guide me have completed working through me in the "technical" or "how-to aspects of helping to guide members of Pagan Clergy to better perform the duties of their ministries and are ready for my work to begin a second phase, that of life guidance in general through stories based upon our Pagan heritage which deliver parables to help us find the way through the morass we often find ourselves in as we stumble through this great adventure called "life"

I completed a series of children's stories and sent that work on my publisher "Waning Moon Publications" then started working on a 2nd volume which will have more adult type themes and stories more suited for us older kids of 16-160 Oh the previous work, "Wizard Tales" is interesting even at my age after writing, reading, editing re-reading re-editing and reading yet again, it still had not lost it's appeal and one can find more and more hidden parables in those yet to be published pages.

I  recently completed another story for the next of the series, but it is of such a nature that I am thinking few will actually see or understand the spiritual/life messages contained in those few pages. The story is of the life of a man who came to a new country (born into a new life) from the east, across the sea (the womb). He set shore at the new growing town of Jamestown to prepare (learn and acquire rudimentary skills and the tools needed) for the next leg of his journey.

His journey takes him up river (following Spirit) toward the distant Mountains (Earth mother/Goddess) Along the way he not only has to work against the current, but he also has to learn how to survive on his own without falling prey to hostile Indians (the pitfalls and traps that we encounter in life). The constant testing of Spirit makes him stronger as it does in our lives. He observes, sees and learns. Along the way he meets a wounded Indian woman who will eventually become his wife. He would not have survived were it not for her, nor would she have survived were it not for him, and together, they are able to meet and overcome each and every challenge the wilderness tosses at them. Of course being a short story, all this is brief and alluded to in the mind of the reader. Then he gets wounded in the leg (thigh). Sends his wife on along with their children to a new and more fertile valley where they can live together peacefully without the constant threat of attack by a hostile tribe.

The wounded thigh is a classic metaphor of castration, the stoppage of the flow of the fertilizing agent which needs to pour forth in order to initiate life within the mother/earth. He lets go, freeing his offspring
and his mate, remaining behind until he is able to travel, then he sets out alone. In the mountains, the womb of the Great mother he meets his death.

While he was alive the hostile Indian tribe sent only the young men to attack him as a right of manhood. He gets bitten by a serpent ( infused with wisdom) and then is killed in a weakened state by a war party. There is a twist right at the end which I will not reveal here.

But not only is this the life of the man, it is the parable of the male mysteries. And I think if the reader were to examine the story from the perspective outlined here, those mysteries would begin to be revealed.

Speaking on Men's Mysteries, there is a new book by Terry Michal Riley entitled "Brothers of the Sun, Pagan men's mysteries" that will be coming out this month (March 2011) or so that was the plan. which I believe has been long over due. Terry is a great guy who I had the pleasure to meet about a year ago and I got a sneak preview of the work and would highly recommend it as both a guide and a teaching aid to help one better understand the male mysteries of our long-forgotten heritage.

First Entry

Feb 28th 2011. The last day of meteorological winter in this region. This is a time of transition. Weather-wise we can have wide swings of temps from the 70's to sub zero. We can have ran, freezing rain, drizzle, frizzle, severe T-storms tornadoes and heavy snow. But it is not only a year of transition meteorological, it is a time of transition for us physically, mentally, psychically and spiritually. We begin to throw off the darkness of seasonal depression and as the days grow brighter and longer, our outlook grows brighter. We see the stirrings of new life, birds migrate back to the north, the first flowers pop up, the grass begins to turn from brown and frost-burned green to a brighter living green. Frogs begin to sing, ice leaves the lakes and our own stasis melts away. It is time to move from looking inward, to looking outward, a time to finish those plans we developed during our time of introspection and prepare to plant the seeds for our future. A time to start again, renewed, refreshed and reborn.