CRISIS, Under the influence

I once knew a fella that always said "There are only two things in this world I cannot stand, a drunk when I'm sober and a sober man when I'm drunk." But being a member of the clergy, counseling someone when they are under the influence is something that crops quite frequently. I have heard it said that you cannot talk to a drunk. Well you can, it may not be easy, it may be exasperating and you may have to watch out what you say, as everything is a bit or more than a bit distorted for them. They never want to talk to you when they are sober when you can actually help them make sense of things. And if you try they just blow you off and say everything is wonderful and coming up roses. Then you get that call in the middle of the night, they are at their whits end, they are gonna do something about what ever problem they are confronted with right then, and no body is gonna stop em either. Some times they get so depressed they are on the verge of suicide sometimes so angry they are on the verge of committing murder and have lost enough self control and lost any sort of common sense or openness to reasonable alternatives, so yep it is difficult. The only control you may have is your integrity, your honesty, and hopefully your wisdom, and yes your connection to Divinity sure helps too. They want to talk to you because they really want someone to stop them from doing what ever it is they are planning on or compelled to do, they are also lost, feeling lost, and they need guidance and they seek you out because of the respect they have for you. You really have to be on your toes, because the dialogue can degenerate to an explosive and dangerous situation in the blink of an eye. But mostly they just need to talk, to vent, and they need help and direction. They do not need you to control them they need your support to learn to control themselves. They do not need a list of "Thou shalts" but they do need some positive suggestions and hope. You need to help them see that although it may be a very dark and trying time, that there is a light at the end. You also need to motivate them positively to dig themselves out of the mess they have landed in. Then hopefully you have helped them to resolve the crisis, if you can once the crisis has passed, inject a bit of levity into the atmosphere, but even in this be careful because it can still back-fire on you and re-create a crisis situation. You need patience, they need support, you need self control, they need to see you are in control. You need to use suggestion and gentile guidance, come on too strong and they will turn on you. Be careful, use your wits, be respectful, and if they suddenly order you out of their house then do not argue, just say OK and exit. More often than not what they want there is a confrontation, by avoiding that, often they will change their mind and ask you back, and even calm down a bit. It is difficult, potentially dangerous, and something a professional counselor is not confronted with, but as a member of Clergy, sooner or later this will be something you are faced with.

Good luck!